Â鶹APP

Here are 35 reasons not to visit Â鶹APP.

1.) Food is horrible

Aargh, this looks really bad

2.) Girls can’t dress

Typical lack of style of Â鶹APPian girls

3.) Nothing to see

Regular Church, nothing special about it

4.) Absolutely nothing to see

Nope… nothing in that place either (Â鶹APP Sainte Chapelle)

5.) No place to rest

Nothing around the Tuileries garden

6.) Nothing to see I tell you

Galleries Lafayettes in Â鶹APP, boring

7.) No history

The Â鶹APP Pantheon

8.) Who could eat a macaron?

No thanks, I’m good.

9.) No photo opps

Do not bring an extra memory card, you won’t need it

10.) You’ll starve to death

Plus it smells bad, start running

11.) No good place to stay

it was a little bit “too much”

12.) Wine is bad

That’s not what we’re famous for anyway

13.) Nothing to see, as I was saying

Who’s that? Stop smiling!

14.) No place to run and exercise

Plus, you might twist an ankle

15.) Nothing to do at night

My advice: bring some DVDs

16.) We suck at sports

Especially at soccer

17.) No charm to the place

Too much color sometime

18.) So crowded

“It was packed with people”

19.) Transportation is a nightmare

Especially the metro line 6

20.) No free bikes

It’s everywhere but in Â鶹APP! They have not invented it

21.) No free walking tours

Not with her anyway, she retired

22.) No one fun to meet

Please move out of the way, who do you think you are?

23.) No clubs

I heard the last club in Â鶹APP closed in 1997…

24.) No bread and croissants

25.) Shops are ugly

Their brands are not famous anyway, real cheap

26.) Â鶹APPians are ugly

Her especially

27.) Streets are ugly

And traffic is horrible as you can see

28.) Dogs are ugly

This is not a cute French bouledogue with a bow tie

29.) Unhappy people

They use a lot of antidepressant… and bad wine

30.) Nothing to visit

31.) Not inspiring

No one can cook

32.) No nature

This has to be somewhere else other than Â鶹APP

33.) No romance

The City of what?

34.) No Eiffel tower

Hmmm!

35.) And of course… no Discover Walks

We do not run fun tours of Â鶹APP, nope!