{"id":226169,"date":"2023-05-12T17:57:01","date_gmt":"2023-05-12T15:57:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.discoverwalks.com\/blog\/?post_type=columnist&p=226169"},"modified":"2023-05-12T17:57:01","modified_gmt":"2023-05-12T15:57:01","slug":"the-truth-about-motherhood-why-its-okay-to-not-love-every-moment","status":"publish","type":"columnist","link":"https:\/\/www.discoverwalks.com\/blog\/columnist\/vanessa\/the-truth-about-motherhood-why-its-okay-to-not-love-every-moment\/","title":{"rendered":"The Truth About Motherhood: Why It’s Okay to Not Love Every Moment"},"content":{"rendered":"

I wasn\u2019t one of those girls who played with dolls and thought, \u201cWow one day I want to do this all by myself\u201d Instead, as a firstborn, I thought about how much I wanted a sister and thankfully, my little sister was born, she was such a blessing to my life despite our age gap. As a teenager, a lot of the girls around me already knew the kind of wedding they wanted, how many daughters and sons they would have and all I could think about was how I wanted to travel the world, so you can imagine how thrilled I was when I got pregnant at 23, not a very young age but also now that I look back at it, mentally I was still a child. I gave birth to a bouncing baby boy and I had little to no idea about babies, I never knew how unconditional my love would have to be and the expectation of this love not only from my son but from society keeps growing. I suddenly belonged to the honorable, patient women association, the women who baked didn\u2019t enjoy a glass of whiskey on the rocks and now I had to act like a mother! I had to love every moment of motherhood and that pressure alone was damning.<\/p>\n

The lie we\u2019re all told as mothers is that motherhood is a big bowl of joy and love and is forever fulfilling. What we forget is that we\u2019re bringing human beings into our lives, little human beings with their own set of emotions and different personalities and yet at the same time we\u2019re still trying to unlearn all the negative traits that live within us, we\u2019re trying to undo the impatience, the sadness, disciplinary measures that were used on us and at the same time we\u2019re trying to either be wives, and also employees, it\u2019s a lot!<\/p>\n

There\u2019s so much that goes on within a mother\u2019s mind from the time she gives birth, emotionally, psychologically and mentally that we forget it\u2019s okay to admit that not every moment of motherhood is enjoyable. As a matter of fact, it is necessary to address these feelings so that we\u2019re able to accept that we\u2019re human beings who genuinely go out of our way to make our kids happy, I am not a superhuman, I am a human being who stretches so widely to make things happen out of the love I have, but not because I have this innate superpower.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s an assumption that mothers innately have the ability and even need to want to sacrifice their needs while juggling the world around her, what they don\u2019t tell you is that the weight is crashing, crashing when the newborn can\u2019t stop yelling at 3 am in the morning, crashing when her toddler refuses to sleep and spits fire at every opportunity because he\/she can\u2019t get what they want. The idea that we love these things is crippling, I don\u2019t know about you but the difference for me is that I am constantly deal with my personal problems just so I have room for my son\u2019s issues, I learned that I no longer have space for people\u2019s toxicity or drama because motherhood is already draining as it is. There are times I\u2019ve loathed motherhood, don\u2019t get me wrong, I still always have loved my child (if you get to a point where you hate your own child then you need to get help because you might be suffering from something deeper) I am talking about hating the burnt out feeling, the lack of a life when you desperately wish to have adult company around you. People are often quick to judge whenever a mum seems to be weighed down by motherhood but they are not the same people who offer the support you need when all you\u2019d like is an hour of a nap, people say \u201cyou chose to have that child so why do you need help?\u201d there\u2019s this sort of punishment that mothers are given, for choosing to bring life to this earth and still get tired, how dare you! The truth is, if women chose to choose themselves over and over again then the birth rate would be devastatingly low, it\u2019s not that motherhood is, always overwhelming, it\u2019s just that we shouldn\u2019t have to pretend that we don\u2019t need help when in fact we actually do. We have to remember that motherhood is not a one-size-fits-all experience, every mother has their own unique experience and every child is different. While everyone likes to judge others based on their own experience, it is unfair to do so, in my few years of parenting, we\u2019ve all noted how different our children are, some kids have had ADHD, and my son needed glasses when he was only 2, another one had a picky eater, we\u2019re all dealing with different human beings and not every moment is remarkable and that does not make you a bad mother.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s move away from this romanticized and idealized motherhood journey that the media and society have created. The truth is, being a mother is a full-time job, and it is challenging and demanding, it is not a super job, it is an average human being who still feels the pressure to balance parenting, work and personal life, behind that healthy happy child there\u2019s a mother who is exhausted and drained yet from all this she finds fulfilment simply because she does it from a good place, with the purest form of love, if we didn\u2019t have the two most powerful ingredients which are patience and love (with an occasional glass of wine) then we\u2019d be running mad, of course, present helpful fathers who understand our roles also make a huge difference.
\nWhat I\u2019ll reiterate is that it\u2019s okay to not always enjoy every moment, motherhood is not a competition where you\u2019ll get a golden trophy for it, do it to your best ability with no expectation that your son or daughter will later buy you a house, and do it because of that love in your heart. Appreciate the many times that motherhood has brought a whole lot of fulfilment and joy but at the same time take time to recognize and honour yourself for what you continuously do. Get rid of the guilt and shame that makes you feel like a horrible mum every time you want to hide in your room and binge-watch a series on Netflix because in the end, it\u2019s rather obvious that you\u2019ll live your room and jump right into a wild routine of \u201ceat your food\u201d and \u201chave you done your homework?\u201d it is ok that you need to alleviate some of the pressure and stress that comes with trying to live up to unrealistic expectations. Ask for help when you need it, take some quiet time in those moments and remember that prioritizing self-care is not a clich\u00e9, it is an actual need that is necessary for your own well-being and the well-being of your family.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no such thing as a perfect mother, so remember to validate your own feelings when you\u2019re feeling out of it, this will not only help you a better mother but you\u2019ll be able to let your children know that even their favourite person has her ups and downs because she\u2019s a human being who just tries her best.<\/p>\n

\n

Planning a trip to Â鶹APP ? Get ready !<\/p>\n

\n

These are\u00a0Amazon’s\u00a0best-selling<\/strong>\u00a0travel products that you may need for coming to Â鶹APP.<\/p>\n

Bookstore<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. The best travel book : Rick Steves – Â鶹APP 2023<\/strong> –\u00a0Learn more here<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n
  2. Fodor’s Â鶹APP 2024 –\u00a0Learn more here<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Travel Gear<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Venture Pal Lightweight Backpack –\u00a0Learn more here<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n
    2. Samsonite Winfield 2 28″ Luggage –\u00a0Learn more here<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n
    3. Swig Savvy’s Stainless Steel Insulated Water Bottle\u00a0–\u00a0Learn more here<\/a><\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Check Amazon\u2019s best-seller list for the most popular travel accessories. <\/a>We sometimes read this list just to find out what new travel products people are buying.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1691,"featured_media":226171,"template":"","categories":[],"tags":[4217,4161],"topic":[4069,4070],"class_list":["post-226169","columnist","type-columnist","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","tag-motherhood","tag-parenting","topic-family","topic-parenting"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe Truth About Motherhood: Why It's Okay to Not Love Every Moment - Discover Walks Columnist<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The lie we\u2019re all told as mothers is that motherhood is a big bowl of joy and love and is forever fulfilling.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.discoverwalks.com\/blog\/columnist\/vanessa\/the-truth-about-motherhood-why-its-okay-to-not-love-every-moment\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Truth About Motherhood: Why It's Okay to Not Love Every Moment - 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